Sunday, September 5, 2010

Plums Cafe

Why, hello there.

Good evening.

If you'd be so gracious as to allow me to introduce myself I'd be much obliged.

Wasted On Steak.

Pleased to Meat you.

Pardon? Martini? Why yes please. With a blue-cheesed stuffed olive? Fine.

That's the greeting we were welcomed with as we made our way through the hordes of dinner-hungry people waiting for an open table at the one and only Plums Cafe.

Located in the burgeoning French district of international wonder-city, Costa Mesa, this 17th Street staple elegantly blends French flavors with a certain, je nais se pas to ring out some great damn food.

To begin, and to set the mood, you may as well put on your best Bond voice and order up a Martini. And since you're feeling a little naughty, maybe even dressed the part with those new euro-inspired
sous-vêtements, go ahead and make that a Dirty Martini. Don't forget to bring protection because this Martini is Nasty, seriously, Dirty is an understatement. This drink did things to me I'd never even thought of, and I've thought of everything. Just look at it up there, taunting and teasing you. Caveat emptor.

First thing up is just a little something to hold you over, the Plums Signature: Feta and Chive Popover. It's so fantastically complicated in all it's simplicity. Take a little Feta, Chives, Egg, and whip it all together with the
derrière air of France's First Lady herself, Mrs. Carla Bruni Sarkozy.

(Feta and Chive Popover)

Mmmm mmmm mmmmmmm. The only way I know how to follow a little Derrière Air Popover is with a hefty plate of Clevelandic Steamers. Freshly gathered the morning of serving from the Clevelandic Sea, an unusually small, circular body of water located thirty miles off France's remote East Coast, this steamy, steamy plate will make all those preconceived prejudices you felt towards France, and the French, burn up in flames.


(A couple beaten clams)

The metaphorical gods must have been watching down on us this night because we were metaphorically blessed with a Talking Heads once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to try the two most beautiful Dinner Specials in recent years.

With our first special we traveled back to the Clevelandic Sea and reeled in the elusive Sword Fish. He put up a good fight, but in the end, to the victor go the spoils. Grilled in the Perfect Pacific Style and covered with Scampish Sauce and laid upon a beautiful bed of spinach leaves, this dish is quite simply amazing.

(Pacific Grilled Swordfish with Scampish Sauce)

With the Second Special we have a Filet of Beef Medallions with a Wild Mushroom Demi Glaci. I'm not exactly sure who that last part is, but her sauce is delicious. It's even more delicious when mixed with a mound of mashed potato.

(Filet of Beef Medallions with a Wild Mushroom Demi Glaci)

Sorry, I don't know what to write. I'm just staring at that unholy picture above. If that's not the most gastronomically erotic photo I've ever seen I don't know what is. My god, that should win a prize.

We also managed to make our way through a couple noteworthy sides as well. The Wild Herb Rissotto Cakes and the Grilled Asparagus. So good it won't make your pee smell in the morning.

(Wild Herb Rissotto Cakes)

(Grilled Asparagus)

Don't turn coy now, we still have one last parting shot to bid us farewell and bon voyage. The Chocolate Sundae.

(All American Sudae)

So if you're feeling a little exotic one night and feel like having a little French stuffed in you, do yourself a favor and search out the hidden gem that is Plums Cafe.

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